By Tim O’Connor
It happens to everyone. Eventually.
The box that you used to carry upstairs with ease now makes your hip hurt. You can’t get through something on Netflix without drifting off. Your brain is foggy the morning after a tame night before.
You’re wearing out the grips of your hybrids. Your GIRs are decreasing; your what-the-hells are increasing. Your scores are creeping up; so is your index.
You wonder: Geez, should I move up a set of tees? What would the guys say?
This was the quandary faced last summer by James Forte, a member at RattleSnake Point since 2003. Retired and a three-times-a-week player, his closest friends were his golf friends. But golf wasn’t fun anymore.
In the same way that the TV show Ted Lasso was far more about life than football, this is a golf story that’s far more about life than golf. It’s also about resistance, courage, risk, and a certain elephant in the room for older men.
James traded in his fishing rods for golf clubs at age 50 and became an 18 handicap who periodically snuck into the high 70s. He played off the blue tees and—as happens—moved up to blue/whites. Around age 65, he went up to the whites. So had most of his friends.
“It was no big deal really,” recalls James, now 75. “They are still men’s tees.”
To improve and stop “tweaking” his swing, he started taking lessons. But he wasn’t happy about losing distance
and having to hit longer clubs into greens.
“You get older, you lose your strength. I’d hit driver then hybrid, if lucky, to get to a green, more likely still short of green. Doubles, triples. The harder I tried the worse the score,” he said. “I’d be on the tee and first thing you think is: ‘I hope I don’t lose my ball.’ I would swing so hard.
“Last August, I was no longer having any fun on the golf course,” he said.
It showed. The former men’s night captain stopped signing up for member events and he was playing less, said Steve LeBlanc, Head Professional at RattleSnake Point. “I knew James was not enjoying the game as much as he used to.”
“James almost threw his clubs away,” said Brian Gore, his friend and fellow RattleSnake Point member. “Here’s a guy who plays three to four times a week, he’s passionate about the game, and he’s thinking of quitting golf.”
Known for his good humour and positivity, his frustration was more evident with every game he played with his son-in-law, Richard Shouldice. “He’s a people person, he gets along with everyone, a guy you love to play golf with.
“He’s not one to project his frustrations, but you could tell. He was getting older and losing distance. He joked last summer that he liked curling better,” Shouldice said.
The solution seemed obvious. Move up to the white/red tees. He wouldn’t.
What was the problem?
“Pride,” James said. “It was a huge step to move to the red/whites. They’re called ‘ladies’ tees.’”
Through the summer, he thought: “This will be my last year playing golf. I can’t move to the red/white tees. It would be too humiliating.
“Or could I? What a choice. Give up the game I love and miss all my friends? Or bite the bullet.”
Near the end of last summer, James made his decision. He went to LeBlanc and said he was moving up.
LeBlanc said: “Good for you. It’s about time.”
The inevitable occurred.
“There was ridicule. ‘Hey James, wear a skirt.’ The guys said it in a joking way. I heard it a few times. I still hear it,” he said.
“I said, ‘I’ll play you from the red tees and I’ll beat you straight up.’”
And he did.
To his surprise, James was no longer swinging his driver like a “maniac.” With a smoother swing, he gained 20 yards off the tee. Now he was hitting irons into greens—and hitting greens.
He won two events last season. His handicap plummeted, dropping to 10 on RattleSnake’s Copperhead course, and to seven on SideWinder. A few weeks ago, he shot his career best, 76, one shot off his age—on men’s night, no less, which earned him 45 Stableford points and the top prize.
“I knew they would boo me,” he said. “I’m proud I had the guts to move up. Guys kid me but I could care less.
“I was so close to giving up the game. Now I’m playing the best golf of my life,” he said, adding that he now consistently shoots in the 80s. “It’s not about winning. It’s about having fun with my friends, and now I’m having fun again.
“I should have done it before. I see guys older than me who are struggling. I can get pars again and they can’t. Probably half the people are playing from the wrong tees. It’s just pride. No other reason.”
Fellow member and friend Ernie Pozzobon said, “At first, he needed some courage and thick skin. Of course, he got some ribbing, but he struck with it. It’s great to see James enjoying golf and competing again.”
Gore says James is a great model. “Because of James, other guys in their 70s and higher handicap guys have also moved forward. They see James enjoying himself. ‘If you can’t beat it, join it.’ He’s built up a following.”
As chair of the handicap committee at RattleSnake Point, Gore says many golfers are playing the wrong tees.
“Don’t let your ego get in the way,” he said.
Golf professionals are chronically frustrated that many players play the wrong tees for their age and ability, depriving themselves of fun and slowing the pace of play. To become more gender neutral, and to reduce shaming, most clubs stopped using the term “ladies’ tees,” calling them forward tees. Now most courses refer to the various tees by colour.
What does James recommend to encourage more people—especially men—to play the right tees for their age and skill?
In an email, he wrote: “Don’t call them men’s tees, ladies’ tees, or junior tees. Just call them tees. LOL.”
Writer Tim O’Connor lives in Guelph, Ontario. He is the author of The Feeling of Greatness: The Moe Norman Story, the Up & Down blog on Substack.com, and co-host of the Swing Thoughts podcast. His most recent book is the upcoming Getting Unstuck: Seven Transformational Practices for Golf Nerds.
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